You know what? Sometimes I just don’t care.
I know... most of you will be totally “surprised” by this revelation, but get over it. You can’t tell me that you don’t sometimes feel the same way.
There are those days where you get up and say to yourself because nobody else will listen anyway: “You know I just don’t give a rat’s ass today!”
Yep... that pretty much sums up the way I feel today.
Everything just seems so pointless sometimes, you know?
Take this election crap for example. I know, I know, I probably shouldn’t discuss politics here. But I am not going to “take sides” or throw a bunch of partisan crap at you and yell at you to “Take a stand” and “Save America!”
Because that’s my whole point.
What’s the difference if I do start yelling all that crap at ya?
Do I really think that will make any difference?
No, I don’t.
And that’s what I mean when I say sometimes everything seems pointless.
Try all you want to move people’s minds on political points and there’s really no change in politics.
Try all you want to change the culture in positive ways and still there’s really no change in people’s behaviors.
Try all you want to make a name for yourself and sell a few books and still...
“Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! NOW we see what you’re up to Mr. Carter! You’re bellyaching and whining that you aren’t making any headway with selling your stupid books aren’t you?”
Ummm... YEA! This is MY BLOG after all! What else would I be talking about???
Let a guy whine a little, will ya??!!
But never fear, I actually DO have a point to all this.
Right, ok... so some days I just don’t care. Sometime it all just seems so pointless. Sometimes I really believe that I am making no headway.
I have been an independent writer for over 8 YEARS now. I have been actively working to sell my work for over 5 YEARS. And I have been publishing my own books via ePublishing technology for almost a year now.
And yes, it gets a little lonely out here sometimes.
I was just thinking today as I drove in to work that most of the time this all feels like I am having conversations only with myself... and that I write books only so I can read them.
BUT HERE’S THE BIG BUTT!!!
I knew coming in that it would very likely take a long time before I saw any real fruition from my hard work. Independent publishing is much harder in many ways than traditional, as documented well here in one of my previous blog posts.
And, to counter the burnout factor you might feel as an independent author, I write many blog posts such as this here to remind me/you/us that it will take a while and that you have to stay as focused and as positive as possible in order to stay in the game.
just might freakin better will get
One cool thing I can report is that I received my first ever ROYALTY payment from book sales last week. Wasn’t much, but it felt kinda cool. Paid for a dinner.
So, there is that.
But that’s only one very small milestone passed and there are many many other larger and more satisfying milestones out there that I want to reach.
And that’s why I can’t give up.
Still... sometimes I just don’t care.
Here’s a little secret... most people probably don’t know or haven’t realized that all this writing I do on this blog and even the two books I wrote in the “Stop Sucking” series are not only written as help for all of you out there.
I also wrote those books to help ME.
Cause quite often I need that advice I wrote in those books.
It gets tough. Sometimes there is no forward movement. Sometimes you really are just spinning your wheels. Sometimes you might not give a rat’s ass.
Join the club.