Tuesday, June 18, 2013

A RE-INTRODUCTION OF SORTS



WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT?

Hello. My name is Paul Philip Carter.

I am a writer. Have been for almost ten years.

Yep. 10 years...

It is possible, in fact almost probable that many of you reading this already know me and know these things about me.

But hey... it’s been a while and I figured that maybe, JUST maybe there were some of you lucky few who are stumbling upon this blog for the very first time and as noobs need to have a bit of an explanation about what you are viewing and reading so that you don’t get confused and subsequently miss out on most or even (God forbid) ALL of the wonderful nuggets of information that can be harvested from this particular part of the Multiverse.

First, let’s just get this out of the way up front.

I LIKE LONG SENTENCES!

Tough titties if you don’t. I don’t even care if they are grammatically correct or not! I like the way a long run on sentence SOUNDS. It conveys an excited, excitable, breathless kind of ADD type behavior that just SCREAMS out loud and proud “Listen to me!”

Or, BITE ME... depending on your particular preconceived notions about run-ons.

But now on to the meat of things...

Thanks to Lynn Kelley via WANA Commons

Heehee... sorry, bit of a side note here. Only a few paragraphs in and already I have found myself chuckling like a middle-schooler at two of the words I have written.

Did you see them? Did you laugh?

OK... for the uninitiated let me point the words out: First was the word “NUGGETS”. Ha ha... ha... HA HA HA HA!

Good LORD I love that word.

The other word?

No it’s NOT titties! Sheez guys come on! Get your heads out! That’s WAY too obvious!

No, the other word that tickled my gills and got me chuckling is... (drumroll please...) “MEAT”.

Ha ha ha ha...wheezzeee... bwhaaaahaaahaahaa!

Nuggets and meat. Two of the BEST words in the English language. And there are MANY more believe me! I might just point them out on occasion, so yea, you have THAT to look forward to.

Anyway... on to the meat of... ha! Sheez STOP IT!

On to the main thesis of this post. (There... finally wrote that without laughing...)

WHERE WERE WE?

As I was saying, I am a writer.

No, not “Officially” published by a so-called “Official” publisher.

I am (proud to say so) an Independent Author. A self-published purveyor of half truths and flat out lies.

I have gone the other route... writing, rewriting, querying, re-querying, summarizing, resummarizing, shooting myself in the head, and reshooting myself in the head...

What a frigging rat race that was. A multi colored spinning wheel of painted ponies all attempting to coax you to climb aboard and take a ride only to immediately buck and send you flipping through the air to fall on your ass just in time to get trampled by their tiny little hoofs that eventually prick you like a thousand little pins and leave you deflated and hopeless in your own pool of fear induced piss.

Try that route. Go ahead. You may like that sort of thing.

But then, you might ask, what have I been able to do as an independent author?

Glad you asked.

Got three books published.

Yep. Just look there to your left on the blog page and you’ll see the links to the Amazon pages.

Two are kinda sorta “help” books... for authors. And let’s just say we authors need a LOT of help. Mental help, mostly, but you’ll have to take care of that on your own!

My books are only marginally “helpful”. If you get some kind of benefit from reading them then GOOD! But really the books are meant to be more of a way for writers who read it to get a sense that they are not the ONLY freaky ass people out there trying to write a book.

Yep. There’s a few of us just the same as you.

My other book is a fantasy. No, not THAT kind of fantasy you sick twisted freak.... ugg (shiver).

It’s a book about magic. But more so, it too is a book that at its core conveys the message that “You are not alone.”

Read it. Read them all. Hey, they AIN’T expensive or anything. Just give them a try!

WHY ARE WE HERE?

So, back to the blog itself.

My goal here is selfish really. I need to write.  A blog makes me stick to a schedule. I have to write. Therefore, as the old saying goes... practice makes perfect!

But it’s not JUST a selfish pursuit. Sure, I will blog about me, about my books, about the things I like, but I will ALSO write about writing itself. Some how-to stuff might just slip in, along with some “Why did I do THAT!” stuff as well.

There will be some cool stuff too. I LOVE to post about sci-fi stuff, real science, and current events, political, scientific, or otherwise. Not to be controversial... not at all. It’s because ALL of these things, these current events, daily happenings, etc... Are ALL fodder for my next book!

So... sit back, read, follow... and enjoy.

What else did you have to do today anyway?

Later!

PPC